how to cancel your wedding …

This week’s breaking news in the wedding world, is Bristol Palin (daughter of Sarah Palin) has cancelled her wedding for May 23, 2015. She did so, only four days away.

First, let me say, canceling her wedding is very courageous of her. At this point, everything is already paid for, so refunds aren’t an option. The family announced that they are going to have a party to “celebrate life”. I agree!!! Don’t let those stuff mushrooms go to waste!

Now you may think, SURE the Palin’s can cancel their wedding, they have got a lot of money. Listen, we’ve been through this with our clients. “Rich” is all relative and trust that no one wants to lose money or face the “embarrassment” of canceling a wedding. In other words, no matter what your economic status, it’s a challenging time for everyone involved.

what to expect if you cancel your wedding:

  • You are forfeiting your initial deposit, retainers, or payments made to any vendors. In some instances (and you’ll want to review your agreements that you signed), you may have to pay the vendor in full, whether or not you have the wedding. Venues, wedding planners, catering, decor – depending on when you cancel and their contract, you may be liable for the full amount.

Note: please don’t be mad at them for this. This is your situation and decision.  You initially selected and hired these vendors because you loved their work. If you cancel your wedding, they most likely have already turned away other couples. You would not want them to fire you because a higher paying client came along after they committed them.

  • Understand that businesses (small or large) have blocked out the date of your wedding so it is a loss of revenue for them. It’s unfortunate and difficult, but it’s the bottom line. Many will try to work with you. Photographers granting a credit for future photo shoot. Florists that may apply your deposit for another party. It depends on the vendor and when you have cancelled.
  • Be prepared for a lot of questions from friends, family and maybe feeling embarrassed. But don’t let that get you down. Hold your head high and push through. Better to lose some money now, than get married and divorced months/years from now. Trust me, it is way more expensive and heart breaking.

tips on how to cancel your wedding:

  • Try to do it as early as possible, gives you more time to negotiate with vendors.
  • Contact your planner first! He/She have relationships with these vendors and can give some valuable insight on your next steps and how to negotiate.
  • If a vendor cannot refund your money, then get creative. For instance, a venue that has been paid in full. Go to Facebook and your other vendors to see if there is another couple that would like to assume your date for maybe a discounted price? If the venue will allow it.
  • Sell your wedding dress. There are lots of online sites that can easily facilitate this.
  • Sell any DIY stuff you have purchased or gift to another bride. You won’t want this stuff lying around reminding you.
  • If you have sent out invitations to the guests and then cancelled your wedding, you will need to send a formal written announcement that the wedding has been cancelled. Don’t get into the details. Something like:

Friends and Family,
We regret to inform you that our wedding on May 23, 2015 has been cancelled. This is the best decision for us, at this time and hope that you will continue to think of us in your thoughts and respect our privacy during this difficult time.

  • If you have cancelled your wedding, but have only sent out the Save the Dates, it is my humble opinion that it is not necessary to send out written announcements. Some will argue with me on this. But my viewpoint is this: you have simply given a date and city and asked guests to pin this on your calendar. If you send out a formal announcement you will be bombarded with phone calls, text messages and lots of well-intended (but nosy), questions. Instead, have your wedding party and family discreetly get the word out to your guests.

If you have to make this decision, we wish you strength and peace!

featured photo credit: pfe iphone

plan on!

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