an open letter to wedding church coordinators

Dear Wedding Church Coordinator,

I’d like to introduce myself, I’m a professional event/wedding planner. Professional in the fact that this is my full-time job, assisting clients with their weddings. It feeds my family and keeps my lights on. This isn’t a whimsical hobby, so I take my responsibilities and the happiness of my clients very seriously. I have a dedicated office space, published telephone number, business website, business license, and file business taxes. Just wanted to clarify the “professional” part of my statement before I carry on.

With that said, I would like to personally apologize for the dozens of ignorant girls that came before me that said they were “wedding coordinators”. Many of them just finished their own wedding (which was really, really awesome by the way) and they are now helping their BFF/MOH get married by coordinating her wedding. Their frame of reference has been to make themselves happy and being catered to by other vendors at their own wedding. For the many times, these “coordinators” stepped on your pews, moved furniture around on the altar, and dug in your closets, I will apologize for them. The next time one of these little darlings skips into your church, please feel free to give us a call; we’ll hold her down and you can dunk her head in the baptismal pool repeatedly.

You see these precious angels ruin it for professional planners. When we walk in the door, you are already rolling your eyes and exhaling loudly. I understand your frustration. But I’d like to have you stop for a moment and take a closer look. Does the wedding planner have a professional business card (not an ink-jet card with perforated edges)? Does the planner ask questions that make it painfully obvious she has done this before? Is the planner respectful to you and your place of worship? Does she inquire about setup times and when the wedding party must leave the church so mass or other ceremonial programs can start? These are telling signs that this person knows what she/he is doing.

Please remember we are not there to usurp your authority. This is your church, your sanctuary, and your place of worship of God. Professional wedding planners know this and treat it accordingly. We know that most likely you met the bride, once at the time of her visiting the church and giving you a signed contract/retainer. And the second time again at her Rehearsal. However, we have been with her throughout the whole planning process. We have fielded teary phone calls, countless emails, and numerous meetings. It only makes sense that since we know her this well, that we should be the ones to line up the wedding party and take care of their needs. Also, it is our job — we are paid to do this.

I submit a crazy idea for your consideration. We’ll take care of the duties of lining up the wedding party, sewing last-minute buttons, making sure food is there for them and you will coordinate your church. Meaning, you know where the lights are, keys to doors, reserved signs for pews, etc. We could work together in harmony and unity. So the end result is that our mutual client has a terrific, stress-free wedding day.

Thank you for your time, and we’ll see you on Saturday.

In Christian Love,


25 thoughts on “an open letter to wedding church coordinators”

  1. LOL! Love it. You’re too funny!

    And ahhhh, this rings so true. If only we could all learn to get along so maybe just maybe we could put an end to the paid wedding coordinator being told to sit in the pew and watch the rehearsal. It’s not right, I tell you.

  2. Great letter! I can relate to some of your pain as I am a cinematographer and any person with a video camera thinks they can shoot a wedding. Don’t you just wish there was some sort of certificate given out to the real wedding professionals to separate us from the clueless weekend warriors.

  3. Amen. I run into this frequently and as a person raised in the church it never fails to astonish me the poor behavior of many. But alas, as you said, pass experience may have left a sour taste in their mouths… but really, Christian kindness and courtesy, anyone? How about just kindness and courtesy? I would take that.

  4. Fabulous! This reminds me of the script I’d reference when introducing myself to church coordinators. Because I was never sure what reason will make the collaboration so challenging, I tried to address them all! Yet it was still a very rare wedding when coordinating with a church coordinator was a breeze.

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