Have you watched the new Netflix reality show, Marriage or Mortgage? The premise of the show is there is a wedding planner and a realtor and they are introduced to a couple that has one budget … they vie for that money to either be used towards a wedding or a mortgage for a home.
When I loaded it up to watch, I had great trepidation about it. Why? Let’s look at what we have dealt with in the past:
- Bridezillas – No.
- My Big Redneck Wedding – That will be a Hard No.
- Say Yes to the Dress – Good show.
- Four Wedding – Eh.
- Big Fat Gypsy Wedding – Can you see my face right now?
- Platinum Weddings – Ahhh, watching the Rich and Famous
- Engaged and Underaged – What the hell?
- Rich Bride, Poor Bride – Now we’re just getting stupid.
- Amazing Wedding Cakes – YES!!!!
- Don’t Tell the Bride – Didn’t care for it.
- My Fair Wedding with David Tutera – That went 7 seasons too long (there were 8 total)
- Married at First Sight – Never watched it.
- The Big Day – Never watched it.
- Note: You can rank some of these shows here, whether you like it or not.
So you can understand that I was really worried about Marriage vs Mortgage – but I’m happy to say I was pleasantly surprised! Let’s discuss.
positive takeaways from the show
- The show was based in Nashville, Tennessee. I am THRILLED they picked a Midwest/Southern city instead of a city on the coast. We do fabulous weddings and events here too! Although that really wasn’t the point of the show, in fact, it’s more about staying within your budget. I’m just glad we got to be represented. Although don’t get it twisted, weddings and mortgages are expensive in Franklin, Brentwood, or Nashville.
- The wedding planner Sarah Miller that they used is absolutely lovely. And by lovely I mean, she’s sincere, passionate, and clearly professional. Sometimes some of these shows depict the planners as crazy, loud, and wild. Sarah is none of these things.
- The chemistry between Sarah and the realtor, Nichole Holmes is good. Yes, they are competitive but it’s not nasty. Although it was fun to watch some side glances as the show progresses, it’s all in good fun.
- You should know that this is a reality show so it is edited for consumption, but what you see is the reality. Sarah and Nichole did not know the couples in advance and were given a bio about them. Then they have one meeting with the couple, one day to shoot (respectively) with the couple, and the final meeting where they would present all the extras (I’ll get into that below) for the couple would decide. You can listen to Sarah talk about it at this interview on a podcast.
a few concerns about the show
- These are my concerns about this show and actually, ANY REALITY TV show about weddings. Sarah pulled out the stops and would get extras with deep discounts from other wedding pros and in some instances, items for FREE to sweeten the idea of going with the wedding vs the mortgage. Yeah, this doesn’t happen in the real world. As a wedding planner, I can’t get you 50% off of a wedding dress from a boutique. But, if you are on a reality TV show on Netflix, then hmmm, yeah that boutique might discount heavily. I feel strongly like it’s going backward and not having the public understand how this works. And what planners can actually do for you?
- Nichole did the same thing, getting some freebies. But real estate is absolutely all about negotiation. You expect it. You want it. It’s not necessarily the same thing for weddings. Wedding pros can’t discount like that normally. So I believe it’s not a fair comparison.
- Finally, it’s creating a clear divide that couples have to choose whether they get a wedding or a new home. For many people, this is probably the reality, they are making a choice between marriage or mortgage, thanks Netflix. But there are also a lot of couples who have both. About 35% of my clients are either building or purchasing a home while planning their wedding.
Weddings win 6-4. Having a wedding is all about creating or starting the foundation of your marriage with your partner in front of your family and friends. You have one chance to share and enjoy all these feelings of joy and excitement. A house is important, but you may have many houses in your lifetime, you hopefully only have one wedding.
abc local lifestyles interview
For fun here’s my interview on my monthly wedding segment about the show with Ange Humphrey.